Celebrating Life

Matt and I chose to share some words at John Haven's celebration of life service. We knew it wouldn't be easy, but it just felt right. We are so honored to be his parents and for the Lord to entrust us with his life and story.

Francie:
John Haven Outlaw was born October 8, 2018 at 9:42 AM. He weighed 3 pounds 8 ounces and measured 15 ½ inches long. He was perfect. He had his daddy’s hair and eyes. And I’ll never be able to look at Mills again without seeing glimpses of him. He was truly beautiful. There was never a guarantee that we would meet our son alive, but the Lord graciously gave us time on earth with our son, and we praise Him everyday for that gift.

John Haven’s diagnosis naturally brought a lot of fear into our hearts. We knew the Lord had the authority and power to heal his earthly body. However, we knew that if his plan was healing in eternity, that our son would be born with many physical abnormalities. In the months I carried him, I battled fear. I was afraid of his omphalocele, afraid of his heart defect, afraid of his condition, afraid of my ability to be a mama to a child with severe special needs. I was afraid of the Lord’s plan. I often felt paralyzed by my inability to control the situation.

Throughout my pregnancy the Lord replaced my fear with faith. And when I saw my son for the first time, all fear was gone. The Lord met us all in the delivery room. When I saw my son, I didn’t see disease or his imperfections. I saw a miracle. I saw his purpose so clearly. The Lord made no mistakes when he made John Haven.

We are overwhelmingly grateful for the time the Lord gave us to spend with our son. In the days to come, I won’t be able to brag about him taking his first steps or saying “mama” for the first time. But I will be able to continue to share about the goodness of the Lord because of my son’s life. And though my heart will ache until I see him again, I know that when I get to heaven one day, we’re not going to talk about all the moments he missed on earth. He’s going to tell me how wonderful heaven has been.

So my greatest comfort as I face the days ahead is knowing that John Haven is healed, he’s full of joy and health, and he’s in the presence of the Father. John Haven showed me that my greatest dream for my children is that when they reach heaven’s gates, the Father looks them in the eyes and says, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” I am confident John Haven received his well done and that’s a wonderful gift.

Matt:
Today, we’re here to celebrate our son. We are able to rejoice because we have a good Father who loves John Haven and ordained every single one of his breaths. We spent 1 hour and 48 minutes with John Haven in our arms, then the Lord called him home. While we don’t understand it fully, we trust His plan. Our time with John Haven will never feel like enough, but we are grateful for how we spent it.

When your child is diagnosed with a life-limiting condition, everything changes. You begin to think of all the moments you’ll miss. Francie would often join me at the golf course so I could have my son with me for a round of golf. We would sit as a family and read the Storybook Bible and rock both our boys to sleep. Whether we were playing in the yard, eating a family dinner, or going on a trip, we always included John Haven. Our hope is that we gave him a lifetime of love, joy, and adventure.

The impact John Haven’s life has had for the kingdom is undeniable. Francie and I are both humbled and honored to be his parents. While today is about honoring John Haven and giving all praise to the Lord, we want to thank you all for sharing this day with us. Thank you for loving us well during this season of life and most of all, thank you for loving our son. Thank you for sharing with us how his life has impacted yours. It is a great honor to hear others speak his name, declare his purpose, and celebrate his beauty. We are grateful for your prayers and your unparalleled generosity. You all are a blessing from the Lord. In this moment, we’d like to invite you to stand with us as we sing a song of worship.