33 Weeks Pregnant

When I was 33 weeks pregnant with Mills, I was counting down the days until his due date. But John Haven’s pregnancy is different. If I’m being really honest, half of the time I just want time to freeze. I want to live all my days carrying John Haven safely with me. I want every uncomfortable sleep. Every coffee withdrawal. Every sciatic nerve pain. Every contraction. Because he is so alive inside of me. Part of me just wants time to stand still.

But then there’s that promise of healing. The promise that the Lord has all authority to heal John Haven’s body on earth or to heal him in heaven. And so the other half of the time, I’m ready for his due date. I’m ready to see how the Lord is going to heal John Haven. And maybe it’s all too personal, but as I lay here praising the Lord that he’s allowed me to carry John Haven for 33 weeks! I’m full of all kinds of thankfulness that he’s authoring all of these days. I’m so thankful he’s in control. And all he’s asking of me is to rest. To be still. To let him move the mountains.